


How to(not) capture Mysterion

by sweetcreekbiscuit



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Attempted Seduction, Awkward Dates, Bad Flirting, Bi-Curiosity, Butters is confused, Childhood Friends, Crush at First Sight, Dougie needs a break, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Genderfluid Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Identity Issues, Implied Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Multi, Past Child Abuse, Pining, Protective Siblings, Secret Identity, Superheroes, Villains
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:00:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22761346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetcreekbiscuit/pseuds/sweetcreekbiscuit
Summary: After 10 years of causing chaos in South Park, Proffesor Chaos, secretly known as Butters or Marjorine, is finally getting closer to unravel the mysterious hero who always ruins his plans.That is, if he manages to catch him first before catching feelings for him, the person under the mask or both.
Relationships: Kenny McCormick & Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Kenny McCormick/Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Kyle Broflovski & Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Kyle Broflovski & Stan Marsh & Kenny McCormick, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Mysterion/Professor Chaos (South Park)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66





	1. Plan #1

He was a normal boy... when he was eight years old.

He was cheerful, optimistic, always taking on his problems and his so-called friends pushing him away, with a smile.

Sure, his father grounded him all the time until he turned eighteen and went to university, his mother was an alcoholic, but every family had its quirks, right? Nobody was perfect. He believed his parents loved him, everything they did was for the best.

Then why... why did he become this way? He knew he had to see the best in life at all times, but something in him snapped when he was ten.

It all started as a child's play - mask himself with aluminum foil, call himself Proffesor Chaos and think of plans his childish brain thought were wicked. His plans started off as plain, insignificant, even if he felt like he was really bringing chaos upon the small mountain town. Hide erasers and pencils from the classroom, flood his backyard, try to block out the sun. Well, the last thing didn't work out, but the determination was all that mattered.

As he grew older, he came up with more and more plans, his alter ego urging him to show the world what pain he went through in his childhood. All the groundings, all the scolding, all the humiliation of the kids who ripped on him, mostly Cartman. He was going to make them all pay for this, for everything.

Good thing he had his faithful companion, General Disarray. The guy always stood by his side, helped him with his schemes and held him back from breaking down completely.

Why breaking down you may ask?

You see, Butters was fragile, insecure, anxious, falling in and out of depression. Not that he would admit it. If you asked him, he would say he was fine, he was completely normal. He always hid everything behind that sweet smile of his. And all those bad feelings were hidden, stored and locked away until the day he was going to make _everyone_ pay.

Well, everyone but one person. A particular person who occupied his mind constantly, kept him up at night, made him space out through the day when he was supposed to be in class.

Butters groaned and turned to lay on his back on the couch in his dorm room when he received a notification on his phone. His eyes narrowed as he read the notification - it was a new article in the blog he was following, and it concerned _that person_ again. Mysterion. The gloomy hero who truly lived up to his name. People often called him a guardian angel, and for some reason it brought a smile on Butters' lips as he read that name in the heading of the article. The article started with, 'The guardian angel Mysterion defends us again from what seems to be yet another dark scheme of Professor Chaos. He has prevented a gas leak from the university's cafeteria.' Butters's eyes went wide.

"What?!" He exclaimed before he could stop himself. That startled his roommate who was currently bent over the desk at the far end of the room. He snapped up to glare at Butters with his hand outstretched in an inquisitive manner. Butters laughed it off. "O-oh, gee- Sorry for startling ya, Kyle. I didn't mean to."

"Yeah, sure, dude. Just lay off a bit, would you? I'm trying to study."

Kyle sighed exasperatedly and brought his attention back to the papers on the desk. He tried to be as polite as possible, Butters knew that, but the exhaustion always sent him off-edge. He was the second person Butters never wanted to hurt. If not for his explosive nature, he was a good guy, he even defended Butters a few times from Cartman's verbal attacks. It was completely different than when they were kids and Kyle and Stan used to stay mostly silent while Cartman bullied Butters.

Now that he thought about it, what about Kenny? He was supposed to be stuck with Kyle, Stan and Cartman, but a few years ago he just disappeared from South Park along with his family. And when he came back last year, he was... different. Like he had something big to hide. He wasn't hanging out with his group of friends actively, he was disappearing quickly after breakfast, lunch and dinner. It was strange, to say the least.

Butters shook off his thoughts and went back to panicking on his latest plan being ruined by Mysterion again. Well, this time it was silent in order to let Kyle study in peace. Though he still couldn't stop the quiet 'oh' that escaped him when he saw a picture of Mysterion. He was caught making his way through the school's campus at night, scowling at whoever took the photo. Butters was sure he had seen somewhere that dirty blond hair that poked out from under Mysterion's hood, but he couldn't put his finger on where exactly.

"There's a party at Token's." Kyle suddenly spoke up, snapping Butters out of his daze. "Are you coming?" 

"Uh, I don't know. Nobody's really invited me or anything." Butters mumbled, his insecure personality coming out with the way he bumped his fists together. He quickly caught himself doing it, and gripped his phone again. Just as he thought he had grown out of that habit...

"Dude, even I am going. That's why I'm studying now so I can go later." Kyle explained. Though as Butters sat up, he noticed that Kyle's phone was turned on next to the pile of papers. It didn't seem like he was studying that hard.

"Oh dear. You're escorting Stan again?" Butters chirped.

"You could say that." Kyle replied simply. He had a dreamy look on his face, but after one blink, it was gone and he focused on his papers again. "Anyway, if you're coming, I'll wait for you to get ready."

"Nah, it's okay. I have something important to do anyway. Thanks for asking me though." Butters dismissed with a smile.

With that, he retreated to his bedroom and went over all the info he had about Mysterion(which consisted of only pictures and newspaper articles) while waiting for Kyle to go out.

Thirty minutes passed. Sounds of shuffling and curses could be heard from the other side of the wall, indicating that Kyle was getting ready. Butters kept checking his phone for the time. Five minutes and thirty-eight seconds was all it took for Kyle to get out of the dorm room. Butters waited another two minutes, just in case Kyle has forgotten something. Luckily, Kyle had a good memory, so Butters sighed in relief at the silence in the dorm room. He called Dougie on videochat and sat down on his bed. The boy picked up quickly, his bored face popping up on the screen.

"Have you read the news?" Butters blurted out instead of greeting Dougie. The latter nodded, but allowed Butters to vent. "He did it again, that son of a gun! He stopped us- er, I mean, he stopped Professor Chaos and General Disarray again! Can you- Can you imagine this? My- _His_ plan was immaculate!"

"I told you it would be a bad idea to start off the school year with something that big." Dougie muttered and adjusted his glasses. "Do you have any more plans?"

Butters bit his lip and hummed in thought. His frown grew deeper as he went over his options.

"Dougie." He started seriously, but as he went on, his lips stretched in an evil grin. "I think it's time for Professor Chaos to set a trap for Mysterion. I- _He_ needs to catch and reveal that person once and for all. He can't stop me- _him_ anymore. Chaos will make sure of that."

Butters finished with an evil laugh. Dougie just blinked at him.

"Sure. Text me when you come up with a plan."

With that, their short conversation ended and they hung up. Butters left the phone beside him and rubbed his palms together in anticipation as the ideas poured in his head.

It was going to be great!

* * *

Butters had planned everything to the tiniest detail. His makeup, his clothes, his wig, Dougie pretending to follow him down the dark empty street. And yet, Mysterion was nowhere in sight. Where the heck was he?! Doesn't he automatically know that somewhere there's an innocent girl being followed by a creep?

Butters sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. A sign for Dougie to move on with the plan. That was chasing the "poor defenseless girl" to an alley. That's what he did, and Butters shot him a frightened glance over his shoulder before breaking into a run too, yelling a high-pitched 'no!'. He took a turn for a narrow dead-end and backed up against the wall, continuing the act with 'go away!' and 'don't touch me!'. Dougie pulled out a knife and made sure to approach him slowly to give time for Mysterion to arrive if he even heard the screams.

Sure enough, after a few moments a dark figure leaped on Dougie out of nowhere(that nowhere being the top of a building). Dougie put up a fight, but he couldn't stand against Mysterion who immobilized him in the matter of seconds and finished by punching him in the face. Even if it hurt, it wasn't enough to knock him unconscious, but still Dougie pretended to fall limp on the ground with his eyes closed. Meanwhile Butters trembled with the excitement of finally meeting Mysterion, but he masked it with being afraid and shocked.

"M-Mysterion? Oh God, I'm so glad you came!" Butters exclaimed.

Mysterion lifted up from the "unconscious" Dougie and walked over to Butters, stopping three steps in front of him.

"Are you okay?"

"I-I'm just rattled, I guess. Thank you." Butters batted his eyelashes at Mysterion and tried to remember his features. From their distance, he could see only shadows and the outlines of the hero's face. As if reading his mind, Mysterion closed that distance and took Butters' arm, lifting it up to examine a light scratch on his elbow. Butters proceeded to stare at him. **Light freckles, straight blond hair, gentle hands, no distinguishable marks on them like tattoos or scars.**

"You're hurt." Mysterion stated in his usual monotone gruff deep voice and looked back up at Butters' face. "A beautiful girl like you shouldn't be wandering the streets alone at night."

Butters' cheeks and ears heated up against his will. He giggled and averted his gaze shyly, but remembered the task at hand and returned his attention to Mysterion. **Blue eyes. With a somewhat enticing purple hue.**

"Oh, uh, my name's Marjorine." Butters chirped as he clasped a hand on top of Mysterion's. "And who might you be? I'm sure your name isn't Guardian angel or My savior."

"Mysterion." Mysterion answered simply, not fazed in the slightest bit by the flirt attempt. "Be more careful on your way back."

With that, Mysterion ran off before Butters could ask him any more questions. The latter groaned in frustration and swiped his hands across his face. So his first plan 'Seduce Mysterion' didn't work.

"He could be gay or maybe ace." Dougie pointed out as he stood up and brushed the dust off his clothes. "You can charm your way to him if it's the first. The second would be the worst-case scenario. Or he's probably not interested in such hook-ups?"

Butters sighed and rolled his shoulders to get his backpack off. He didn't say anything as he removed the wig to stuff it in, then proceeded to change his clothes. When he finished, he and Dougie started making their way back to the campus. It was nearing their curfew, but they still took their time going back. Dougie noticed Butters' distant expression, but he didn't question it, seeing that Butters was ready to voice his reasons out for it.

"Do you think I'm beautiful?"

"Honestly? You're not my type, but you're cute as a girl, I guess."

Butters smiled at Dougie's bored response, but suppressed another girlish giggle. Marjorine was really getting to his head. But maybe it was for the better? She surely caught Mysterion's eye even if he didn't show it. So maybe she could make an appearance again? But the question was how. She couldn't just repeat the first plan and act like a dumb damsel in distress that can't realize the dangers of walking alone at night. That would become suspicious, and Mysterion might find her, him, out.

God, Butters was acting bi-curious again.

Wait. Does mixing up your gender count as bi-curious? That was really confusing...


	2. Matchmakers

Butters was confused, to say the least, as he woke up to Kyle asking, _pleading_ him to go out with him, Stan and Kenny. That was so out of character for Kyle, but after smelling the alcohol on his breath, Butters understood.

"You should go to sleep, fella." Butters dismissed with a smile and tried to turn his back on Kyle, but the latter kept a firm grip on his arm. He looked and sounded like he was on the verge of crying.

"Dude, Butters. _Dude_! Please! Kenny hasn't hung out with us recently and he looks depressed. We need to help him! _You_ can help him!"

Butters quirked a brow in confusion.

"Wh-Why me? I don't know Kenny that well as you guys do. Why not ask Cartman if you need someone else?"

"Because- Jesus, dude, you're like the fucking sun and- and Cartman is a fucking annoying piece of shit."

Kyle didn't bother to hide the hatred he had for Cartman while speaking about him, but Butters wasn't used to hear so much bad words come out of Kyle's mouth. But hell, Kyle even kneeled in front of the bed and pleaded Butters as if his life depended on him. He was definitely wasted. Otherwise he wouldn't have stomped on his ego like this.

"Oh hamburgers..." Butters mumbled under his breath and rubbed his eyes before sitting up. The clock on his nightstand said 6 am, but Butters was already awake enough to not go back to sleep. And Kyle was lucky enough that his kindness prevailed yet again. "I'll help you, but I suggest you take a cold shower or something."

Kyle nodded enthusiastically and stood up slowly. After a 'thanks, dude' he walked out of Butters' room. Though for a drunk person, he avoided swaying and stumbling. There was something fishy... But Butters decided not to think much of it.

He took his phone out and texted Dougie to ask him if he was alright. In return, he received a photo of Dougie's bruised cheekbone along with a text of 'I'm fine, but the concealer you gave me is going to be put to use'. Butters shrugged to himself. He knew Dougie was going to be alright. That wasn't his first time being hurt while helping Professor Chaos with his wrongdoings, probably wouldn't be the last. Butters felt sorry for him, ~~or pretended to~~ but Dougie was a tough guy despite his appearance.

Furthermore, in order to achieve their goals, they had to sacrifice something, right?

* * *

Only when Butters sat down in front of Kenny with Stan and Kyle on their sides in a café booth, did he realize that he was set up on a makeshift date.

It all made sense now. Kyle ending a phone call with 'okay, thanks again, Wendy', then telling Butters to wear something nice. It was obvious what he was trying to do. And Stan... while they were waiting for Kenny, he constantly made hand gestures to Kyle from across the table, but all he received was a kicked shin, a sweet smile from Kyle and a response of 'it will work' through gritted teeth.

Though what was weirder was that Kyle and Stan didn't even ask if Butters liked guys before setting him up on a "date" with one. Did they know...? Hopefully not. Because if they knew, then other people might know, and if his father found out about him acting bi-curious again, he would ground his butt until he was thirty-something years old. 

When Kenny appeared, it was safe to say he looked like he had just crawled out of Hell.

His hair was messy as ever, hidden halfway under the hood of an oversized brown jacket. His eyes were tired, the dark circles under them making him look gloomy and sleep-deprived, possibly running on at least four coffees and one energy drink. As he approached and sat down next to Kyle with his hands in his pockets, it could be seen that he also hasn't shaved from at least two days. Still, despite how miserable he looked, he smiled at his friends. Kyle replied with a simple wave and Stan with a complicated handshake-brofist-highfive(probably a secret handshake he and Kenny made up). 

"Uh, hi, Kenny! Hope you don't mind me being here with you guys." Butters greeted with a bright smile of his own as he fiddled with his thumbs in his lap.

Kenny's eyes glinted with something for a second as he replied with a simple 'it's fine'. Butters wasn't entirely sure why, but that made him feel comforted and more nervous at the same time. He cast his gaze down and played around with the ends of his shirt that poked out from under his favorite baby blue sweater. He occupied himself with straightening the slightly folded edge of his shirt. He thought he ironed it thoroughly, but there was that stubborn edge folding over again...

Butters snapped out of it when he heard Stan saying, "Dude, you look like a drug dealer. Put that hood down." and received another kick from Kyle.

"Dude, that hood is a part of me. You can't make me take it off!" Kenny responded, dramatically slapping a hand on his chest as if offended. "It's like taking Kyle away from you!"

Kyle sputtered, choking on his milkshake mid-sip. Meanwhile Stan looked as clueless as ever.

"What does your hood have to do with me and Kyle?"

"No offense, but you can be seriously dense sometimes." Kenny muttered with a sigh.

Butters watched silently as the other three rambled and argued on and on, and he couldn't help, but feel left out a bit. Stan and Kyle were managing to interact with Kenny just fine on their own, so why did they even invite Butters? Though gradually they left Kenny out too, proceeding to talk about football and basketball and upcoming games which seemed to be a boring topic for Kenny.

Kenny turned his attention back to Butters, his smile and the crinkles of his eyes from fooling around with Stan and Kyle still lingering as he locked eyes with the other blond. It made Butters' heart skip a beat, but he ignored it.

Oh.

So that's why.

"Um-" Butters started, paused to clear his throat and huffed out a chuckle. "They sure are close, aren't they?"

"Yeah, too close for comfort if you ask me." Kenny remarked, laughing at his own words. He shot a quick glance to Stan and Kyle, then leaned over the table towards Butters. "Say, do you wanna go somewhere else? Cafés aren't one of my favorite places anyway."

Butters blinked up at him with a nervous smile. That wasn't a part of his plans at all. He was supposed to go to his room after this date... meeting... gathering, whatever it was, and proceed with thinking of plans to catch Mysterion. But still, he found himself nodding and letting Kenny lead him out of the café. He glanced at Stan and Kyle over his shoulder. They gave each other a fistbump, then grinned at Butters and gave him a thumbs-up. The synchronization these two had was almost terrifying.

At least it distracted Butters for a second from the feeling of Kenny's hand holding his-

Wait. When did _that_ happen?

"U-um, Kenny- I haven't paid my milkshake!" Butters protested as they made their way down the street, but Kenny just laughed in response.

"They'll handle it, don't worry." Kenny turned for a brief second to look at Butters. "So, how do you feel about ice cream? Like, dislike, hate, love, mixed feelings?"

Butters almost got dizzy from Kenny's speed talking. It was as if one breath of fresh air made him overly enthusiastic and energetic, and it didn't fail in passing this on Butters too. He didn't even have time to feel bad for leaving Kyle and Stan to pay for what he ordered.

"I love it!" Butters replied with a smile before giving it a second thought.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to spend some time away from racking his brain about plans to capture Mysterion. But Butters still couldn't help, but notice how familiar Kenny's hand felt when he held him. It was almost the same as how Mysterion's hands felt. But then again, most people had soft skin on their palms except if they worked something hard.

Before Butters could even start putting two and two together, Kenny came to a stop when they reached an ice cream shop. He released Butters' hand in favor of opening the door and gesturing with his other hand for Butters to go in. Butters stifled a laugh as he muttered a 'thank you' and walked in. As they took their ice creams and sat down outside on a bench, Butters found it easy to talk with Kenny about whatever came to mind, mostly venting about university and Mr. Garrison who moved on from teaching 'little brats' to 'older, but still brats'. Though Butters still had Mysterion on his mind.

"Hey, did you hear what happened two days ago?" Butters asked.

"Oh- About the gas leak?" Kenny guessed with well-feigned innocence and interest. "Yeah, that Proffesor Chaos apparently tried to suffocate a whole cafeteria-worth of people. Terrible, really. Good thing Mysterion stopped him again."

Butters gritted his teeth at the mention of Mysterion's name, but smiled and played along.

"I don't know... I'm kinda curious about what makes that fella do these horrible deeds. Proffesor Chaos I mean."

Kenny shook his head and took a bite from the waffle cone of his ice cream.

"Whatever it is, it's still bad. They don't call him a villain for nothing."

"Yeah, guess you're right."

Butters cast his gaze down for a second, then moved it back up at Kenny's face. He huffed in amusement upon seeing the white smudge on Kenny's cheek and gestured to the place on his own face. Kenny just blinked at him.

Oh. His eyes are blue, Butters' brain remarked. Just like Mysterion's... But then again, Butters and a whole bunch of other people had blue eyes.

"What? You want a kiss on the cheek?" Kenny asked, accompanied by a hearty chuckle.

"Wh- N-no! Jeez- You have ice cream on _your_ cheek!" Butters shot back hurriedly. Kenny tried to wipe it off under Butters' guidance, but failed miserably. "Oh hamburgers... Let me."

Kenny raised his hands in defeat and Butters reached up to swipe his thumb across Kenny's cheek. Their eyes met for a brief moment, but it seemed like time slowed down when they did, and Butters stopped in his tracks, his thumb still pressed on Kenny's cheek. Kenny's expression softened noticeably as he copied Butters' actions, lightly trailing his finger on Butters' cheekbone, right under his left scarred eye. A reminder of their stupid ideas when they were kids.

"Does it still hurt?"

Butters averted his gaze again and retreated his hand, flinching away from Kenny in the process, but he still smiled reassuringly.

"It doesn't. It's from ten years ago after all, not from ten days ago."

"Butters... I don't know if I said it before, but I'm sorry. I didn't want that to happen." Kenny muttered.

Butters shook his head and wiped his thumb on the napkin he got along with the ice cream.

"It's okay. You don't have to be sorry. I mean, everything's in the past now, right?" He finally looked up again, still smiling, but it didn't help Kenny smile too. Instead he pressed his lips in a tight line. Butters punched his shoulder lightly and stood up. "C'mon, brighten up! The world isn't ending or anything. Let's go do something fun!"

Kenny fell silent for a few seconds, just looking up at Butters. Finally, he smiled too and stood up, giving a light pat on Butters' shoulder.

"You're really something, you know."


End file.
